At this point i'm pretty screwed up.
I have no school to go to, unless my appeals are successful ( and the chances are very slim, i think)

If i don't get in, i'll be going to a poly, and if they do not accept anymore students, chances are, i'll probably be working around or maybe go overseas to further my studies( again, chances are slim).

It's funny because i haven't considered the option of going to a poly for..years.
I've been drilled to get enough points to go to a JC, no matter how bad it is, and suddenly, the options of a poly is open for me, just because of my intention of refusing to stay in TPJC.

All these is happening because i listened to my parents.
The fine line between stupidity and obedience..
I guess some part of me left the choices this way was becuase i desperately wanted to prove to my mum that her beliefs were wrong ( and trust me, she's still as stubborn as a mule).
A tiny part of me believed i could get in as well. (Denial heh,)

So now that im back to sq one, i really wish i had amended my choices so tt i wouldnt be stuck in this position right now.
I suppose it doesn't matter much now since all i can do now is hope for my appeals to be successful, although deep inside, a part of me is hoping to join my sis overseas (quite unlikely tho, i know. )

Ok ya, you get the point.
I really don't know what i want.
People are alrdy preparing to start JCs (alrdy started) and to go Polys, and im here still deciding what i want.
Hilarious.

To think a year ago, i had a meal with my uncle and aunty, and they were saying my sis and i resembled my father in the sense that, we both are fickle-minded and indecisive ppl.
How true.
I really dont wanna make the wrong decision and go down a route i have no passion for, and result in starting all over again, because by then, i'm also not sure whether i would have found something im interested in too.

So, Wait and see, i shall.
Let fate lead the way hm?

_____________

Listen, to the sound from deep within
Its only beginning
To find release
Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own all cause you wont

Listen,
I am alone at a crossroad
Im not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known

Oh,Now im done believing you
You dont know what Im feelin
Im more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..my own

Being Loved ;
11:15 PM;